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"BAD GUYS DO FINISH LAST TOO!"

Although Duke Nukem is poised to make a console comeback later in 1998/99 with exclusive versions for PSX and N64, and a major splash in '99 with the PC version of "Duke Nukem Forever" (using the "Unreal" engine), the consoles got their Nukem fix this past Christmas season with versions for the PSX, N64 and a Lobotomy-programmed Saturn version of 3D Realms' hit PC game from a couple of years ago. You're Duke Nukem, a cross between Scharzenegger muscles, Stallone's brain and Bruce Campbell's trademark one-liners (shamelesly aped from Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" series), who is mighty pissed at scummy aliens and pig cops that have overrun L.A., kidnapped the strippers and left you stranded without a space ship. You grab assorted weaponery, ranging from the obvious (pistols, machine guns, shotguns), to the sublime (a jetpack out of James Bond, steroids to go bersek with anger) and the ridiculous (pipe bombs, shrinking rays, an inflatable dummy) and start gunning down the f******.

It's "Doom" with an attitude and a juvenile sense of humor, as well as better level-design (which resembles human locations rather than outer-space stations) and much-improved control; Lobotomy even added Saturn-exclusive bells and whistles that make the Saturn version of "Duke Nukem 3D" the best console version of the three released last year. Shame that at the same time the game was released, the Saturn market collapsed and its market-share went into a free-fall. GT Interactive burned over 500,000 cartridges of "Duke Nukem 64" for the masses; the Saturn version would have been regarded as a runaway succes if it managed to sell 10% of that number (oh, the pain!).

GRAPHICS / VISUALS: B+
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The bad first: the menu/option screens are unattractive, badly layed-out and have a butt-ugly resolution (and I'm talking Robin Williams-in-"The Fisher King" butt-ugly) that makes them an eyesore. And let's not forget that the world has moved into polygons and 'go anywhere' 3D-environments, and that "Duke Nukem 3D" still relies on graphics that are sprite-based and pixelate like crazy when viewed up-close; the game has aged badly, and that is obvious when compared with new standard-bearers like "Goldeneye" and "Unreal".

That aside, this is a very fast (too fast at certain spots!) and mighty playable engine that Lobotomy has tweaked for this port, considering it's the second-generation from a previously existing engine (used for the much-acclaimed "Powerslave"). We have blazing 30 frames-per-second, light-sourcing from weapons and explosions, medium-resolution and a little less than 30 levels (one of them exclusive for the Saturn version), not to mention Netlink compatibility that DOESN'T AFFECT the speed, lag time or consistency of the game's graphics.

MUSIC / SOUND EFFECTS: B
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There are some well-composed tunes in the background, but frankly they wouldn't stand out on their own if they weren't merely BGM for atmosphere's sake. Sound effects are beefy and well-arranged (that shotgun has a MASSIVE 'boom' effect), and have all the feel of an action movie with all the usual suspects: ricocheting bullets, glasses breaking into pieces, buildings collapsing into piles of rubble, toilets exploding and water spilling, etc. Even the unfunny and EXTREMELY juvenile one-liners Duke utters every once in a while have a charm of their own ("Wow, that is one 'doomed' space marine" was cute), but overall the one-liners Duke utters are irrelevant to the game and are kinda just there, occupying space with the squeals of the pig cops and the shotguns. You might think they're the next best-thing after Dana Gould's voice-overs for "Gex", but that is a personal call your psycho-like personality will determine as a plus or a minus.

GAMEPLAY / FUN FACTOR: B+
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This game is the best thing that ever happened to the Saturn Netlink, and almost singlehandedly kept that undersupported device in use on many homes; it was just plain cool to Dukematch or sweep a level ("Aliens" anyone?) against/with fellow Netlink owners all over the U.S. "Bomberman", "Sega Rally", "Daytona CCE" and "Virtual On"? Good games all of them, but they lack the visceral adrenaline punch that comes from inheriting gameplay that was customized for internet multi-player gaming; "Duke Nukem 3D" was designed for PC's, but the essence of one-player and basic multi-player gaming translated well into the Saturn, thanks to the programming wizzards at Lobotomy. There are a couple of flaws here and there, most noticeably the ability to use 'invincibility' and 'God' codes in the Netlink dukematches (gamer's honor must be used to take it on faith that there is a fair match taking place), but for the most part this is the best console game ever designed for internet gaming over a console (and a good training ground for any future Dreamcast projects). Just remember this basic rule: he/she who dials, pays!

Control is dead-on accurate and even supports the analog pad from "NiGHTS" for much-better maneuverability in the tough spots when Duke must deal with incoming fire from all fronts (back/front, left/right, above/bellow). A code (Jevon's code, listed in this site's Code's section) allows you to configure your analog controller into a "Turok"-like setting, and it's the best way to play Saturn "Duke" that I have encountered so far (thank you former GameFan writer Knightmare, for suggesting that set-up to the folks at Lobotomy). And hidden in this CD, via a secret technique involving toilets (don't ask) or saving a Saturn "Quake" file on your internal RAM, is the follow-up to the cult-favorite "Death Tank" bonus game we first saw in "Powerslave"; "Death Tank Zwei" is more of a slight update that polished the little bugs in the original instead of a sequel, but since very few gamers got a chance to play the first game this will be their first exposure to this retro title. A mix of "Missile Command", "Combat" and other obscure Atari 2600 concepts, "Death Tank Zwei" is an addictive and very playable multi-player blast-fest that will make enemies and foul-mouthed freaks out of your best friends (up to six people can join in the fun); this game is almost worth the price of the "Duke Nukem 3D" by itself, but when you're being cleared off shelves for $25 that ain't saying much.

Difficulty levels are a little on the hard side, with even the easiest one is a challenge to anyone but the first-person freaks that have mastered the art of strafing around corners and hallways. It may be derivative of "Doom" (some of the enemies share the 'dumb as a box of dirt' AI of earlier "Doom"-like games), but "Duke Nukem 3D" sets itself into places that a regular Joe can relate to being at one point or another in his/her life: a pool bar, a motel, a grocery store, a porno theatre (ahem!). Believe it or not, being around Earthly locales adds a lot to the atmosphere and 'being there' factor; Duke may be just another muscle-bound jock, but he has a hell of a lot more going for his personality than Turok, the guy in "Unreal" or the nameless id Software leading men (or is it a leading hand?). He's not James Bond though :-).

OVERALL: B+
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Compared to the low-res, pixelated, one-player only gaming found on the PSX (which has more exclusive levels than the Saturn version), and the better-looking N64 version with split-screen, multi-player gaming (up to four people) and exclusive new weapons/bosses/lighting effects, Saturn's version of "Duke Nukem 3D" comes across as a middle-of-the- road compromise between the competition's highlights (although the N64 lacks any in-game music, a compromise to keep the cartridge under specified sizes; PSX has music that is no better/worse than the Saturn's). In the end it's the Netlink support that makes the difference, and elevates the game into a special category that the other two simply can't touch; Lobotomy programmers lifted Sega's port into something very few gamers can feel proud of owning: a game that pushed their beloved black box's capacity to the limit. Let's hope Sega is taking notes about how to recreate their internet-gaming strategy with their upcoming Dreamcast line-up; can you say "Unreal"??!!