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I'VE LIVED IN THE BRONX...I KNOW THE BRONX...THE BRONX IS A FRIEND OF MINE. 'LAST BRONX', YOU'RE NO BRONX!

If you know what any of the above means then you're truly a political junkie with a memory that stretches as far as back as the Vice-Presidential debates of 1988 (I digress!).

I'll tell you the one thing that struck me out most about Sega's Christmas brawler for Saturn, the AM3-developed "Last Bronx" (a port of an arcade game very few gamers saw in the States). It's a small thing but a perfect allegory for what Bruce Morton from CNN's "Late Edition" calls the story behind the story: THERE IS NO INSTANT REPLAY AT THE END OF A MATCH. I can't recall a 3D fighting game in recent memory that didn't show gamers the last few hits that led to the deciding punch/kick ("War Gods" from Midway doesn't count; you can't call that...thing, anything other than an arcade coat hanger).

That little nitpick shows what Sega of America's strategy will be for whatever game gets released on Saturn in the near future: give the fans as much as possible without breaking the bank or going overboard with small details. Couldn't an instant replay for "Last Bronx" matches be quickly implemented? Sure, a couple of weeks would've taken care of that. Was it worth spending those extra bucks for the American market? Probably not, since most people would take an instant replay for granted and move on with their lives (and deprive me of a unique angle from which to open this on-line review). But "Last Bronx" has as many small details that need some polish as it has fighting-genre cliches; thank God (if he/she/it exists at all) Sega still has that "it" that others can't duplicate, and manages to save "Last Bronx" from itself. Got that? Neither did I!

The "Last Bronx" reference is probably an allegory for the tough and decadent state of relations between the different gangs fighting each other for respect and honor in Neo Tokyo (sometime in the future I guess). The game features eight characters, which are the respective leaders of their gangs. These gangs have names like Katsushika Dumpsters (Zaimoku), Neosoul (Yusaku), G-Troops (Yoko) and Shinjuku Mad (Joe); they're all fighting for God (??!!) knows what, and only by beating the menace of Red Eye (the final boss) will they be able to...go on with their lives, I guess. "LB" has the ususal dose of improvements arcade ports get when converted to Saturn by Sega: different training modes, gallery of stills, FMV anime opening sequence as well as endings, etc. (if you have "Fighting Vipers" or "Fighters Megamix" you know what to expect). Two features that make this game harder to pass by gamers with small wallets: (a) it's Sega's only fighting game using weapon-based techniques, and (b) it packs more brutality and punishing moves than a blind date with Marv Albert. Are you game? YES

GRAPHICS/VISUALS: A-

I'm on a generous mood tonight, since this Saturn game has three serious graphical flaws that almost knocked it to the 'B' category. I'll list them here, but keep in mind this is a Sega fighting game and that Sega's crap is usually of higher caliber than every fighting game on the N64 and PSX (except those from Capcom and Namco).

-what's with those boring and lifeless backgrounds? Nothing is happening anywhere in Neo Tokyo as these punks battle each other out. Moonlight Garden, Lust Subway (as seen on "VF3"), Naked Airport and Nightmare Island (is that a Highway construction site?) are some of the ridiculous names given to the arenas where battles take place. If only the real Bronx looked half as clean and graffitti-free as this locations...

-flicker from hell appears on the barriers surrounding the arenas when the winning character poses for the camera. It is awful! You'll end up skipping the poses because of it, which is a shame because these guys say some pretty nasty stuff that, with sufficient knowledge of Spanish, can be read as foul language. The barrier also tends to break-up when scrolling, but we're used to it by now from Sega's other brawlers with cages.

-I'm not against advertising in videogames, since it lends authenticity to the perspective (we're surrounded by it everywhere we go, why should games be any different?). Unfortunately Sega left the Japanese ads in the game and didn't replace them with generic or American ones; everything from Suzuki Scooters, Java Tea to JAL Airlines. It goes back to the lack of incentive on Sega of America's part to go the extra mile in polishing American Saturn games. "Jet Moto" for the PSX had adequate ad placements; "Last Bronx"'s are either messy or self-promotional.

Other than that, this are some of the sharpest and cleanest visuals to grace the Saturn for quite some time. By going high-resolution and skipping the fake lightsourcing (anyone ever read a review praising Sega for sacrificing resolution for lightsourcing when porting "Fighting Vipers"? Thank you, neither did I), AM3 has given the game a clean and uncluttered visual field that lends every whack from a spear and every airborn kick a hurting feel. Character textures are fine and look solid, unlike the flickering look of the polygon players in "World Series Baseball 98". Polygon break-up rarely occurs during actual battles, but is very common (again) during the posing scenes after every match ("Virtua Fighter Kids" is another Sega high-res. game with a similar visual handicap).

Special mention goes to the anime sequences directed by Hiroyuki Aoyama, which compromise the Opening and Ending sequences of the Arcade game as well as an individual ending for each character in the Saturn mode ('A Sega [Saturn??!!] Exclusive'). Taking a page from Acclaim's American port of Taito's "Psychic Force", SOA subtitled these sequences and left them untranslated; artistic integrity preserved or cheap way out of hiring good vocal talent? You be the judge! Although high on production values and look, this endings are just too random and out of sequence to make the game's storyline cohesive. Yoko's ending, in particular, takes just as long to unfold as it does to load into memory (I kid you not!). The less said about the endings the better, since it's a treat to see and hear/read which gang leader has a beef with whom. Shame on SOA for not including the special anime prepared for the game in the American release (an incentive to import).

MUSIC/SOUND EFFECTS: B

You've heard this sound effects before, on about a million "Street Fighter" clones released since 1992. There aren't any bone-crunching sound effects in the game, since the gameplay in "Last Bronx" requires long-distance strategy. The whacks of the assorted weapons and the taunts uttered by their carriers, though, are awesome. Zaimoku and his giant hammer pack one mean punch, while Kurosawa's wooden sword (combined with his low punch) are as painful to watch as they are to receive (if you're up against me of course). By leaving English out of the equation, "Last Bronx" is one of the most Japanese games released in America in quite a while, in both content and gritty modern style.

The music is a mixed bag, with some truly weird but delightfully fruity tunes (both the musical theme and the character of Lisa, in the Moonlight Garden background, have an eerie similarity to stuff seen on Bandai's "Sailor Moon") mixed with the generic rock and pop tunes heard in countless Saturn ports over the past couple of years. Sega should give serious thought to spreading their musical talents a little more evenly; why should "NiGHTS" and "Virtual On" have several glorious kick-ass tunes while "Die Hard Arcade", "Manx TT" and "Fighting Vipers" had empty soundtracks? Add "Last Bronx" to the list of Sega games in search of a better soundtrack (that opening theme really kicks ass though!).

GAMEPLAY/FUN FACTOR: A-

There are several Training Modes in "Last Bronx", and after actively messing around with the options I've come to one conclusion: the Aerial combo moves the computer requires the player to perform are either a sick joke or a reward for fighting aficionados with enough brain cells free to memorize yet another series of complicated tap moves. I honestly couldn't get any far in these Training modes...unlike the training mode in "Fighting Vipers", this one is a tough cookie from the get go. Button mashers and veterans from Sega's previous fighters should have no problem pulling moves and combos with ease; the beauty of the game's hidden depth is that it's concealed by an apparent shallowness. Dig deep and you shall be rewarded by the adequate AI; when playing against another human being, the fun factor increases tenfold and the trash talking gets pretty viscious! No kiddies allowed to watch as you and your compadre beat the crap out of peachy-looking Lisa.

I could go on telling you about the backstory of the characters, the Time Mode and Survival Modes, the Saturn Mode with exclusive endings and different bosses for every character, and the long-range techniques that the character's weapons bring to the tried and true gaming reputation Sega brings to their fighting game. I'll make it easy on you: look at your Saturn library and see how many fighting games from Sega you have there collecting dust...you don't play them every day, but when you do it takes a good part of your day. If you have "VF Remix", "VF2", "VF Kids", "Fighting Vipers" and "Fighters Megamix", then you'd be crazy not to make room in there for the last great Sega-produced arcade brawler for Saturn. Not as polished or good looking as Namco's "Soul Edge/Blade", the engine in "Last Bronx" still has plenty of miles left in it for a quick spin through the rental desk.

OVERALL: A-

I really wish I could give it a 'B+' but that would be insulting the hard work AM3 producer/director Akinobu Abe and his team brought to "Last Bronx", which is still better than 90% of all fighting games available here in the States. It's window of opportunity will be shortlived though, since Tecmo's "Dead or Alive" is set to take the spotlight for early 1998 (what is it about Saturn fighting games undercutting each other's space? "Fighting Vipers" became obsolete almost overnight when "Fighters Megamix" got released a few months later). After years of bitching and moaning about third parties not getting the best results out of Saturn, it's feels strange to say it but it's true: "Last Bronx" will keep you entertained until "Dead or Alive" arrives (kinda like "Wild Arms" kept RPG PSX nuts happy from March until September of '97, when "FFVII" came by and took over).

"Last Bronx" goes to the top of my friends/relatives' Christmas list, as the game I'd really enjoy more than usual if I didn't have to shell my dough for it since I already own the entire Sega arcade collection of brawlers. It's the small things and little details that count, and those can tell you more about the state of whatever concerns you than any trade show or CEO speech. Don't believe me? Then tell me if the new 'A Sega Exclusive' tag line on Saturn boxes from Sega games (instead of the previous 'A Sega Saturn Exclusive') isn't a small but telling sign of how Sega is gradually (almost covertly) killing the Saturn slowly. If Sega can't get any better results out of Saturn (flicker!), then maybe SOA is correct and we should all move on.