Review by: the Dark Falcon

Ahh, another Acclaim review. Man, why do I get stuck with these damn things? Is it fate? Is it luck? Is it the fact I'm so bored that I could carve sailboats out of toothpicks if I felt like it? I don't know, but these Acclaim games need to cease- they are really really becoming a royal pain in my ass.

Case in point- I ran across Mortal Kombat II yesterday as I was doing my usual gaming run. Now, of course, I loved MKII at one point in time, and I played the SNES, Genesis, and 32X versions regularly during their year of release. Now, of course, I have grown into more mature tastes (Fighters Megamix is the bomb, of course), but something nagged me about the Saturn version, so I decided to rent it to see if it was THE ULTIMATE.

Boy, I was let down more than John Wayne Bobbitt's new wife on their honeymoon. Mortal Kombat II on the Saturn is possibly the worst game made for the system, right down there with Revolution X and Rise 2: Resurrection (or, as I call it, Desecration), and it is no doubt the worst conversion of MKII to cross my path.

If you don't know the plot by now, here goes. An overload by the name of Shao Khan is preparing to take over the world. He resurrects the defeated Shang Tsung into a new body and calls on several warriors to come and stop him. Enter Liu Kang, Jax, Kitana, and a whole slew of others, along with many of Khan's guardians and Goro's vengeful father, Kintaro (who looks like a twisted Tony the Tiger). So the tournament takes place in a muddy realm called Outworld, and the winner would proclaim Mortal Kombat victory once and for all (well, not really- otherwise, there would've been no need for MK3 and MK4).

OK, now the bad news, and here we go...(sigh)...

1> Slowdown during gameplay. SLOWDOWN? No joke. Every time a new move comes into play, the screen action stops for a second to three seconds to LOAD the move, and then does it constantly during the match. COME ON! Even Criticom didn't have this disluxury, and it's one of the worst!! 2> The music. How bad is the "remixed" music? Let me put it bluntly. What was once a cool collection of ancient fighting tunes has become a collection of "Congo" outtakes, sounding like it was played by a drunken band of African beatniks. "Pathetic."

3> Muffled voice samples. What is Shao Khan doing? Instead of bellowing "You weak pathetic fool", he's whispering it like he's in a doctor's office talking about impotency!! Did Acclaim fall off the boat or what?!

4> Control. Not as tight as it really needs to be, but it's so jacked up by the slowdown you really won't notice

5> Age. The time this game came out, MK3 was abuzz in arcades (and it was also undeserving of it, like this game), and the home conversions were already on markdown shelves. Yet, to this day, this game remains marked at $50 at some of the stores. Boy, Acclaim's strategy...go figure, eh?

Now, word has it that their MK Collection (consisting of MKII and the first Mortal Kombat) is still in the works. Honestly, does Acclaim need to crap up the original as well? Isn't it bad enough we've had this much pain as is? I say leave the original alone and let Midway do their magic on MK Trilogy, OK, Acclaim? Go back to toy manufacturing or something.

Acclaim's Mortal Kombat II barely stacks up a mere 1 out of 10, and, folks, that's becoming an Acclaim standard these days. Rise 2, Revolution X, the Crow: City of Angels...it's like comparing Melanie Griffith movies to the pure Hollywood market, y'know? They just don't belong.