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"HOW CAN I MAKE POOR SOPHIE SMILE AT THE END OF THE GAME?"

"Panzer Dragoon Saga" wasn't the only Saturn game released in May that caused shortages and sales figures in SOA headquarters to be revised. The Saturn port of the huge arcade hit "The House of the Dead" was also released on the same day, and although it is the ugliest shooter game on a 32-bit console (yes, even ugler than Konami's "Crypt Killer" and Midway's "Area 51"), it is also one of the best-playing and best-conceived entries in the genre.

Part "X-Files", part "Resident Evil", part Hong Kong action flick and part H.P.Lovecraft-inspired lunacy, you play the role of a detective named Thomas Rogan, a dedicated member of the police force and is engaged to be married to one Ms. Sophie Richards, employee of the DBR Corporation (a genetic engineering center) that was at one point directed by the mysterious Dr. Curien. On 12/20/98 Rogan and his partner, a mysterious but dedicated officer simply known as 'G', are sent to DBR headquarters to investigate the status of the special ops and research facility; needless to say, Rogan's concern for his fiancee is also a big reason for his aprehension. Can Rogan and/or 'G' survive this house of horrors, destroy the beasts, save the survivors and confront the madness of Dr. Curien? Most importantly, will you save Sophie Richards from becoming another casualty in this freaky accident? You'll only know if you go through the game and see what Sophie's eyes look like at the very end; if Sophie has Bill Bixby eyes (white), then she is a goner. If she runs toward you then Sophie survived, and Rogan will get some for plenty of nights to co... OK, let's move on :-P!

GRAPHICS / VISUALS: C
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A new low for the third-generation of Saturn software coming under the Sega label, which is just not keeping up with the great-looking (and playing) stuff coming from Sony and Nintendo. The same team of European coders that brought us the Saturn version of "Manx TT" did the port of "HOTD", and either they were (a) rushed through the development process in order to meet a deadline, or (b) they simply couldn't make the complex Model 2 graphics fit into the Saturn's limited architecture. Tantalus is off the hook on "HOTD" because the last few Sega games from Sonic Team and AM3 for the Saturn haven't been too stellar-looking themselves ("Sega Touring Car Cahmpionship", and the promising but flawed "Burning Rangers"). The only redeemable qualities of "HOTD" are a sense of dark and gloomy atmosphere that survives the butchering of the graphics, and the feel of accomplishment when you decapitate and/or clear a room full of zombies. There is just something therapeutic, relaxing and soul-cleansing about stuffing an undead creature with plenty of lead; those of us who have made "Resident Evil" a hit and "Evil Dead"/"Night of the Living Dead" cult favorites know what I'm talking about. The default use of green blood for the game is an inital let-down, but a code will let you experience the bloodbath in sweet "Mortal Kombat"-endorsed deep reds. Can you spot the code to get the red blood flowing in this review? Read on :-P!

Still, when placed side-by-side with the PSX version of "Time Crisis" or older games like "Virtua Cop", "HOTD" looks horrible: low-resolution graphics, polygon flickering and warping galore, monochrome-looking hues and textures that barely deviate from greyish and brownish tones, massive pixelation in EVERYTHING from walls to doors to the enemies themselves, and an inconsistent frame-rate that drops and increases throughout the game (on an on-rails shooter? Unheard of). Maybe a few extra months in development would have cleaned the graphics enough to make them more presentable (the PC version of "HOTD" enjoyed a few extra months of development, and early buzz suggests that 3D-accelerated versions are a close match to the arcade's graphics); maybe Sega decided early on that the game wouldn't look much different and saved themselves the Yen of an extended delay and released what looks like a 65% complete version of the game. Why didn't AM1 (the team behind the arcade version) handle the Saturn development themselves? Why wasn't the "Virtua Cop 2" engine recycled for the "HOTD" port? We'll never know the answers to that and many other questions like: why did people think that the Warren Commission lied about Presidnet Kennedy's death? Why was the Atari Jaguar ever released to market without any new games? Why did Nickelodeon cancel "The Secret World of Alex Mack"? Etc.

MUSIC / SOUND EFFECTS: B-
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The gunshots are recycled from the "Virtua Cop" library of sound effects, but the screams of the dying and the shrieks of the survivors as they get accidentally shot are pure cheese, which is what a game in this genre is expected to sound like. Sound effects and music are fine, and by combining the expected (chainsaws buzzing, viscious mutant dogs barking, rabid monkeys breaking through windows, etc.) with the somewhat unexpected (techno-like tunes as BGM), the audio side of "HOTD" is as sleek and finessed as an Italian horror movie (Dario Argento anyone?). The vocal talent (if we have to call it that) is no better, with that trademark "muffled voice" that has plagued all Sega-developed shooter games; why can't they record these speech samples at a higher rate? What these characters utter is no better; from the hedious lack of emotion in Rogan ("This is horrible"! made me bust-out laughing), to the lack of sincerity and emotion when the scientists utter their "Thank You!" after you have just saved their hive, "HOTD" is 100% pure cheese. And that, in the day of the "Resident Evil" and "Scream" franchise, is apparently what the people want; an acquired taste at best.

GAMEPLAY / FUN FACTOR: A
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"HOTD" may lack the graphical finesse, revolutionary duck maneuvers and intense sound of the gunshot hitting you right in the face that makes Namco's "Time Crisis" the best PSX shooter game on the market (we'll cast a momentary blind eye to the upcoming Working Design RPG/shooter hybrid "Elemental Gearbolt"). But "HOTD" delivers in my humble opinion a more tense, sweaty and thrilling experience because of the tried-and-proven gameplay Sega arcade games are known for; you just can't beat horror-genre conventions and a piece of cold plastic on your hand cocked and ready to unload massive damage. Body parts fly, vases and windows get shattered, some scientists live/die and many of the game's hidden paths will be altered by the actions you take in the game. There are many different paths that can take you to different rooms and secrets, and only by shooting someone/something at a key moment will those paths be changed; these secrets are a treat that boosts the replay value ahead of more linear shooters like "Maximum Force" and "Virtua Cop 2". With the proper codes you can even give yourself infinate lives, change the blood of the game (green, red, blue and purple) and skip to any of the game's levels (enter L,R,R,L,L,R; hold both L & R; while holding them go into Arcade or Saturn Mode; enjoy!).

The game features the typical options found in Sega shooter games: Audio, Calibration of the Stunner, font of the on-screen cursor, Audio/Music selection, etc. The Arcade Mode features the game's original three stages and the fights with the bosses, while the Saturn Mode features the same stages but with four different characters with different abilities: some take more damage but have weaker fire power, while others carry more bullets per gun (up to 15 per chamber) but can only carry two torches before he bites the big one. The Boss Mode lets you get your best shot at kicking the ass of an already-cleared boss; yawn! Stunner support is perfect (just like the arcade), and two players with two Stunners can have a mean old time mowing down the rotten flesh; a single-player can pull the John Woo twin-pistol routine too, but the game will throw you harder and more numerous enemies because it won't know there is only a single player. Surprisingly effective is the use of the standard controller when moving an on-screen cursor around the screen. You may miss on the real feeling of shooting something by using a control pad, but for those without the resources to get a second Stunner (or a first one, because these suckers go for $30-$50 each!) it is a welcome correction from the clunky response of the "Virtua Cop" engine to control pads.

OVERALL: B
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If the graphics weren't so unattractive and unpolished, "HOTD" would have had a more dramatic impact in the console light-gun genre and the fading Saturn market. In the end, gamers that manage to get a copy of this hard-to-find Saturn release (a friend couldn't find it in Chicago, and was forced to mail-order it from a NYC specialty store) will be playing the game and having a good blast-a-thon DESPITE the graphics getting in the way at all moments of the experience. In a weird way this game reminds me of N64's "Yoshi's Story", a gorgeous game that looks beautiful but is as shallow as a date with Sandra Bullock. "HOTD" is the flip side of Yoshi's dilemma, having horrendous (and at some points almost unwatchable) graphics but a pretty entertaining and rewarding gameplay experience; it's like dating a puffy Jeanine Garofalo). Now if we could have a N64 'M' rated shooter game with Yoshi devouring zombies and decapitating them with a tail snap... yeah, and David Letterman will start doing a funny show before the end of the millenium. Dream On!

NeXT!!!